Today we are going to talk about what everyone hates. Yep, no one likes this at all. HATE, hate hate hate. What is it, you ask? What could everyone and anyone completely and totally hate without reservation, no matter who you are, where you are or anything else? I will tell you.
CHIGGERS. Yep, we all hate them. We hate them even worse when we are bitten from head to toe (the little blighters just couldn’t pick an ankle or other specific areas of the body – they had a massive party while I was sleeping and shared the misery).
If you have never been bitten by a chigger, there is a special hell reserved for you when you do finally get that privilege of serious itching beyond description.
I was picking apples in the orchard yesterday and that is where the darling wee red specks from Hades came from. I forgot to shower when I got back in, I mean, how dirty can you get simply picking apples for a half hour off a couple of trees, eh? So they migrated while I slept and allowed me to wake to a special kind of pain.
There is only ONE way to actually deal with them. If you are squeamish, stop reading.
You have to scratch the heck out of the little red bump so you are literally tearing your own skin off. After you have ripped off the top layer of your skin and there is a very obvious single red dot the color of a fire engine, you found the little blighter – still alive, of course, and….. get ready for this….you have to douse it in RUBBING ALCOHOL. Yep, all over the area of your body you just exposed to nerves under the skin. Yep, hurts like “schiznett” (my special word I created not to swear, but means the same thing as ##$@%@#%^@@)
Now keep doing that until you think you are going to lose your mind and you can’t take it anymore.
This does work. I am down to mild itching and semi mild granny-swearing under my breath.
On the other hand – I am now fully awake. Usually it takes me an hour or two bumping into walls to be fully cognizant but right now I am up and at ’em and more than a little grumpy.
So, good morning to you and I hope your day started a lot better than mine. At least I have a full dehydrator full of apples to show for my trouble.
When you meet a chigger, be sure to have rubbing alcohol on hand. You can get it at your nearest Walmart store: https://www.walmart.com/ip/91-Isopropyl-Rubbing-Alcohol-32-fl-oz/33057974